When we go out with our buds at night, there are two kinds of dudes.
The first type is the “Doer”. He’s the guy who’s getting at it and approaching every girl he sees without hesitation.
The second type is what is known as the “watcher”. I used to be this guy.
This is the guy who is sitting in the corner and wondering, “Why can’t I just go up there and talk to girls?”
I used to lack confidence.
I used to lack knowledge.
But most importantly, I was focusing all of my mental energy on the wrong thing.
Imagine becoming a “Doer” without having to actually DO the approach. Find out how you can be the “Doer” in this video.
Confidence. Everyone wants to be that dominant alpha confident guy. We all want to be that, and be able to go up to any woman, anywhere and be able to actually go places with her.
I always use to ask myself: how can I get to that point? I started to focus all of that energy on how I could be just like him, but in reality the only way for you to become confident with women and become confident with anything is through success.
Instead of focusing all of your energy on this really difficult task of actually getting a particular girl, start focusing in on the little things. Start building your confidence through these smaller successes. Maybe its just going up to a girl and asking what time it is, or where the local Starbucks is. Maybe its going up to a girl and giving her a high five and running away, something very basic that you can get a smile out of.
The definition of your success in that interaction is going up and talking to her, and asking where Starbucks is. You walk away with smile and probably left her smiling too. Now you can say, “O.K. I’m really starting to work on my confidence in a positive light”.
The easiest way I can relate this to my own life of building confidence is through public speaking. As a professional speaker, I get on stage and feel confident enough to speak to one or two thousand people without any problem at all. And people do ask me whether or not I get nervous and of course I did in the beginning. My first speaking engagement wasn’t getting in front of a thousand people and talking for an hour absolutely not. My first speaking engagements were in front of ten people and usually it was a pretty rough group through the YMCA groups.
Once again, small successes help to build confidence and helped me to get to where I am today. Stop focusing on the end goal because it will only make you nervous. Start focusing on building that confidence through those smaller successes and work your way to the top. If you’re taking action, and self-improving, she will have a bigger chance of being attracted to you.